A Tearful Purr


#1

Hi dude!
I wanted to show you the latest short film my friend, and I made. Feedback, as always, is profoundly appreciated!
Hope this little motion picture gives you some new insights:
2-minute version: https://youtu.be/H9f2ZwoDYV4
4-minute version: https://youtu.be/utvKVberYK0
My website: www.freds.work

Thanks! Enjoy!
Federico


#2

Hey man, sorry for not responding right away. This is one that deserves some attention (and that might be my first point; the title is nice and poetic and ties in with the story, but for someone who hasn’t watched yet it might not draw enough attention.)

Lovely work, some great shots and a well told story. Kudos for not using any dialog.
I think the two minute version breezes over things a little too much and doesn’t leave some sequences enough breathing space. The four minute version on the other hand seems slightly too long, the extra sequences of him loving his cat run a little too long, the shower curtain scene after the diagnosis especially seems like it could have been cut and you would have been fine.

I think that with a 3 minute version you could have hit it right on the nose.

One thing I thought was missing in both versions was a little more attention to his conflict. It is not really clear that the second thing the doctor presents is a euthanasia injection. At first viewing I thought it was a first round of treatment. A longer beat after the bill, where the actor stares and gestures helplessly that he can’t pay before going to that second option could have helped there. And some more of his conflict when looking at his accounts would have cleared and intensified things in my opinion.
All in all just a little more refining to be done on this gem.

That said, really good work! You can be proud of what you and your cast & crew made. Good luck on the next project. I’ll be watching.


#3

Thank you so much for all the feedback Jasper!! I appreciate your comment immensely. I felt like the film was missing something and you pinpointed exactly what I was looking for! I’ll fix the edit and re-publish. Again thank you for the kind words, and I’ll keep working each day on improving; perhaps we’ll have a new project soon :wink:

Take care
Federico