Living With Roommates (Failed Comedy Sketch)


#1

I’m gonna be honest here. I could have done better on this project, but I wanted to put it out so I can move on. I worked with a co-director on this one, and he did a great job at getting the performances that we needed out of our actors. I was there as producer, DOP, and special effects artist. I also wrote this piece and took it through post. Now you know what I did, and I expect a full ripping of a new one to happen.

I am so proud of my cast and crew on this one (really impressive performances given the material). Just need to sharpen up my skills so that I deserve to work with such talented people next time. Not fishing for compliments, btw. Just looking to improve.


#2

Well the biggest problem I’m having with it, is that to me it isn’t funny. It doesn’t feel like it has a very good structure. There’s only a very short set-up and no real pay-off (seeing the dish baby in the bed already would have been 10 times funnier IMO). It’s also a bit hard for the audience to figure out what exactly is going on, without either seeing or being told clearly. Which is maybe another reason why it didn’t connect; it wasn’t clear.

The shot design is pretty good. I don’t really like the lighting in some of them though; the harsh windows in the begining, the overexposed woman with the book while she’s reading.

But again, I think its biggest problems are in the story/jokes and how those translated to the screen. In the end I didn’t like it because it wasn’t funny or interesting to me.
I hope that’s harsh enough for you, it’s the best I could come up with right now.


#3

This is a good critique. Thanks, friend!