Writing some remarks as i'm watching.
The first cut after the gong strike has the sound carrying over very nearly, but after that it seems to skip a little.
I think you could clean up your edit a little and make a faster cut. The walking towards the car seems superfluous, especially since you don't follow all the way to the car. If you keep the direction of movement consistent on screen you can just cut between those two locales.
It doesn't seem to serve any purpose following him.
There's a lot of background noise, it's especially present when one of the guys is on the computer. I imagine those are the computer's fans. You could use Foley to try and get a cleaner result.
The level of the background noise is also not consistent, fluctuating between shots, drawing extra attention to itself.
You could improve your framing overall, try paying a little more attention to it and putting a little more thought into it.
I think you did pretty well for a first short, you could just do with a lot of fine tuning. Keep at it