Revenge A Short Film


#1

I’m trying to improve on my films here’s another one which it’s only 2 minutes hope you enjoy and remember to give feedback


#2

Hey, thanks for sharing this one! I got a good laugh out of it :stuck_out_tongue:

As you’re asking for feedback, I have a few thoughts on how you could punch up this kind of short and potentially make it more effective.

Even though it’s only two minutes, I actually think it’s about a minute too long. You have a solid idea here (and the ending is well-executed, no pun intended… okay that pun’s on purpose), so I would suggest focusing on really thinking about what each shot in your film is adding to the story, in two ways - visually, in terms of your camera angles and what you’re showing the audience, and editorially, in terms of how each shot pushes the story forward.

I feel like some shots don’t really focus on what should be the most interesting thing happening, or the part you want to emphasize. For example, when the guy gets pushed at the start, it’s at the bottom of the frame and barely visible - it doesn’t have very much impact. Similarly, when he starts pulling out all the equipment, it’s at the bottom of frame at an angle where it’s hard to see what he’s doing. That shot feels like it’s more about the window than his actions.

Editorially, keep in mind that we don’t need to see every single thing the character does, if it doesn’t move the story forward, giving us new information. After he’s pushed, we have three long shots of him walking, from wide static angles (it kind of reminded me of the Resident Evil games, though I don’t think that’s the effect you’re going for). I don’t think this is necessary information; I know he’s going somewhere, but I want to know why, and how he feels about it, and ultimately where - how he literally gets there step-by-step isn’t particularly where my interest is focused in that moment. While there’s a thousand ways you could do this scene, I feel like a close-up of his angry reaction to being pushed, and then immediately cutting to him putting his equipment on the table could be faster and more powerful (or at least with a shorter walking sequence). I have basically the same thought about the montage as he sketches out the gun; we don’t need to see him actually draw the whole thing out at normal speed - we could either quickly cut through shots of the most interesting parts, or even do a sped-up time lapse. As-is, the action is a lot less energetic than the music, and I found myself wanting to skip ahead to just see what happens. The shots also have some “dead time” at the start before the action happens, which you could trim down to tighten things a bit as well.

Here’s a great example of both really interesting camera work and efficient, quick editing. I’m not suggesting that you should copy this style for any of the specifics, but just as a general reference on how this kind of sequence can be done with a lot of dynamic energy:

Thanks for sharing! A lot about the short works well, so my immediately jumping into feedback/notes is meant as a positive review! :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:


#3

Thank you Kevin I’ll use this information when creating a similar type of film next time the I really helped me.