Not a problem. I'm trying to learn at this point, so most of the mistakes will probably be mine.
I wasn't thinking of posting anything, but maybe I will. I've been circling for awhile trying to figure out how to get started, but maybe the best way is just to jump in. I've written a lot of fiction and pretend to know what I'm doing, but scripts are new to me. My struggle with scripts is understanding how to read them. In fiction everything is on the page, so I can make judgments about what is missing and what aspects of the description need to change. With scripts the director is so important to how the film will look. He can make those changes (for better or worse). So, do I read based only on what is on the page or in terms of the potential I see?
I think what will help me is to dive in with you guys on a script of my own. I've started working on something called "Chicken's Foot", but it will be awhile before I have anything ready to post.
In the meantime, I'll give you my first impressions of "Down in the Valley." I've read the first 5 pages in detail, and skimmed up to page 15 to get an idea of the story. I'll need to go back and read pages 10-15 again to get a better grasp. I think the dialogue is well done and defines the characters. I could quickly pick up on differences between Ricochet and Missile. I had some questions about the purpose of the story about Moses. I couldn't tell if that was just nervous chatter as they were setting the bombs or if it's going to be important to the story, but I'm OK with that. I'm willing to wait and see. I only mention it to say the question wasn't answered in what I read. If it should have been, I missed it.
What I had trouble visualizing was more the scene. When the bomb went off and it was a perfect circle (a "precision" explosion), and then there were stairs, I wasn't sure if the explosion created the stairs (which would be a bit too much precision) or if it merely uncovered the stairs. It appears this is supposed to be earth after the desolation of an "impact" (a meteor strike?). But I wasn't sure about the atmosphere. Are these guys in space suits or is the air breathable? Why do they have to go down to uncover what they're looking for? Is the surface barren or is this a decimated city? I couldn't get my bearings. ... Again, maybe I'm just too new to reading scripts.
The "Locusts" also confused me. At first I assumed they were going to be like the Bugs in Ender's Game, but then it appeared they were just a different gang of people doing the same thing these 5 characters were doing. It makes sense that if resources are scarce, people will be fighting over them, but it threw me for a moment.
Finally, it does seem risky to try to get the viewers to invest emotionally in these characters and then kill them off. I've tried similar things in my stories, and I always get bad reviews for it. But, I'm willing to wait and give this a chance to see where it's going.