@ReshaCaner I suddenly realize that I read your script, but I forgot to leave feedback, so here it is:
Things I like
All of the tension: Your characters are always fencing with one another in conversation. It's obvious that they care about each other....and it's also obvious they don't approve of each other's decisions. The relationships feel real, and the scenes are a breeze to read because of it.
The setting: Your approach to world building is very 'show don't tell', and that's one of the most difficult problems with any kind of fantasy. We were just talking about the showing-to-telling ratio in my script. Generally speaking, you do a very good job of giving us enough information to go forward without overloading the audience, and the setting itself is colorful and different. You're not carbon-copying any fantasy world from anywhere else. This feels like yours, and that's excellent.
Things I don't Like
Text chunks: I've given this note to a lot of people, but it's always worth repeating - big blocks of text are really scary as a reader. They look imposing and complicated, and screenwriting - at its best- is a deeply economic form. I saw a lecture from a famous action writer who said that he makes a game out of trimming his text....he literally goes through the script line by line and cuts every piece of dialog by X words and every description by X lines. You don't need to be that destructive (and the irony of this note appearing in a large text block is not lost), but economy matters, and you should aim to never write any text block longer than 3-4 lines.
First description: OK, I just blabbed on about the necessity of brevity, and now I'm going to say things should get longer, but you definitely need an expanded first description. I love the scene, I love the way it sets things up, but I was envisioning a Grapes of Wrath setting when it suddenly shifted to a fantasy. Make it more clear to the reader from this first sequence that we're in a mythological world.
Don't stop now: There's easily enough to this story to make a feature. Echoing what Piano said earlier, the shift from the beginning to the end is really jarring, and it feels like you're in a rush. I would definitely like to see this expanded to at least a 50 page TV pilot if not a feature! There's a lot of great work in here that ended really abruptly, and I want more.
Also, I read part of the Elizabeth Heineman article, and it's great. This socio-cultural nonsense about how we construct and re-tell identity myths is one of the weirdest and most important things we're involved in as humans.