(I compiled all posts, if I missed any please let me know)
A Story of Explosive's
Explosive Boy shouldn’t have gone to his dad’s fireworks factory. He knew he shouldn’t have. But somewhere in him he had discovered something new, something dangerous. It was in fact the urge to try something new. So he got up, and layed a hand on the doorknob, he hesitated realizing that trying something new meant possibly failing. And failing well, failing was failing. Now he was at the firework factory, it seemed that his life before was nothing in comparison to the massive display of pyromania before him. He went, and carefully picked up a firework from the shelf. He felt the sheer raw power in his hands, contemplating all he could achieve with just this single masterpiece. Turning against the recommendation of his once very close dear friend Matt, he started towards an exit with the pyrotech in hand, eager to see what the future had in store. Suddenly a voice came shouting from the distance: “Oi you! you shall use that firework to do great things, like solve world hunger, or your dad will hear of this! If he hears of this, i would not like to be you, for people will do anything for food. How about you go in there, and use it and then maybe, just maybe, you will see that fireworks are not just awesome flying explosive contraptions, there’s more to them than meets the eye. And you better hope none meet yours!” The voice giggled a very manly giggle and continued. “Anyway, there’s an even bigger one behind those crates.” And suddenly a firework the size of a rather large baby rolled forth. And the man was gone in a puff of smoke, which smelled oddly of cabbage soup. Explosive boy pondered what to do with the abnormally large firework. He didn’t remember ever comming upon such large an explosive before. How would he use it? “I’ll shoot it off the tallest building in LA that I can reach by elevator” he stated to the somewhat cabbage-soup smelling emptiness around him. Then he opened the door and stepped out into the “Future” He looked around at the city of LA. Then, Suddenly He saw a fireworks car pull up, he ducked into a chinese dumpster, and pulled out twin 50 cal. Uzi’s but his fear was ungrounded; it was his friend Matt behind the wheel. He ran to the car and said in a stressed whisper, “Matt, what do you think, are you up for something totally, unbelievably awsome?!” Matt rolled down his window and looked skeptically at him behind a pair of teashades sunglasses. He chuckled and said, “Don’t get cocky, kid. Ugh, let’s go.” He got into Matt’s soccer-mom van where he found he was sitting among some rather odd wobbly-head dolls stuck to the interior of the van. They drove off into the sunset of LA and arrived at a large mysterious office building, located in the fanciest part of town. When they got out, they were approached by a group of intimidating people in leather jackets and totally radical trousers with fiery badges sewn onto them. They seemed rather …vacant, for lack of a better term. Their eyes were gold, and they were handling revolvers. One of them sneered “Oy, soccer practice is on th’other side of town! You need to get de’ heck out of here before I help ya!” Matt looked at him with a face that was just like the one when he watched Sharknado. Matt looked incredibly un-amused, is what I’m trying to say, he fired a firework into the guys face. He said “Lets rock” as he rolled out of the van with a Firework Rocket Launcher. They stampeded inside of the building and dodged bullets as they fired their fireworks, Explosive Boy got a super terrible wedgie though, and had to stop to pick it, but it was a really, really stubborn one. So he was awfully distracted and missed the whole fight. Matt returned to him with blood running down his face, despite the fact he wasn’t wounded. “Is that your Idea of “Let’s rock!”?” He said, his voice a bit dry. Explosive boy was about to say something when someone began singing the macarena, and he lost his train of thought, the sole survivor of Matt’s massacre was singing. Matt started for the roof, turned and said “you coming kid?” Explosive boy yelped “But RJFS just came out!” Matt completely ignored him and kicked open the front door of the building. EB had to remind him they were already inside and Matt just replied with “Shut up, I know what I’m doing!”. They walked over to the elevator and pushed the button. They stood there in momentary silence, waiting awkwardly for it to arrive. When it opened a group of those leather jacketed Macarena singing men were standing in the lift They turned around mid song to find Matt and RB were nowhere to be seen. “This floor is clear” said one, “ayyye macarena” replied the other two, straightening their jackets. The lift doors closed. Little did they know Matt and RB were already inside the elevator, on their way to the roof. Like ninjas, the two of them had disguised themselves as mirrors, pressing themselves against the elevator’s walls. They rode up the elevator, and reached the top. When they got there, a large group of the macarena dancers left the lift, joining a larger group of dancers that began forming a human pyramid. EB and Matt knew this had to be in line with some evil masterplan, but overall quite confusing. RB and Matt, sneakily slid out of view and got the fireworks into place. When they were certain that no one could see them, they took aim. Time seemed to slow for RB after this point, Matt watched, confused, as RB started doing everything in slow-motion. RB finally put the last firework into place. They stepped back some, but then both came to the conclusion that maybe they shouldn’t do this, but then a stray guard saw them, and they knew they had no choice. RB lit the fuse, and the two of them ran to the nearest cover they could find. At once, the fireworks looked like they would go off, but the fuse had been stolen somehow. Matt cursed beneath his breath and then handed RB the only spare, “Don’t screw this up kid” he said as he began running towards the guards with his firework launcher in hand. RB ran towards the firework and applied the spare. He turned around to find Matt staring at the pyramid. It appeared they were summoning a demon of darkness to prevent the fireworks from being their demise, RB lit the last fuse and started running for cover again. But matt was running in the other direction because he suddenly realized he needed to save the cool, leather-jacketed satanists. Although they were evil, every One of them was fly as fly can be. They deserved to live, even if it’s only because they survived the apocalypse explosion. As well as the stock market shenanigans of the week prior. However as Matt was running late so he called the office and asked them to THINK ABOUT AN ENORMOUS AMOUNT OF ALLIGATORS and also to Place an order for one hundred duck sized horses and to cover up all banana related incidents as well as half of the strawberry related ones. Matt wanted to say HEEEEeeeeeEEEEEeeeeyyyy HEEEEeeeeEEEyyy HE SAID HEY. WHAT’S GOIN ON? And that He prays. OH MY GAWD DOES HE PRAY!!! In this Institution. And he tries, Oh my gawd does he try! To end this damn song. But the hydra of memes had spawned atop the pyramid. Time had run out! Something had to be done! He had to stop the meme or did he? no. Because at that moment the fuse said HEEEEeeeeeeEEEEeeyyy HEEEEEeeeeEEEEyyyy, IT SAID HEY. And reached the end of the line… . . BOOM! Matt and the fly satanists tumbled through the air as the memes were finally summoned And immediatly blown up along with the pyramid in a split second of chaos. As everything appeared to have started to settle down, RB found himself alive among the rubble. The sun rose over the horizon as he pulled Matt into the ball pit, where they lived happily ever after. The ever loving, long awaited, really quite drawn out End.